"Mistress For Christmas"- AC/DC
Totally inappropriate but what else do you expect from the band that gave us "Big Balls"; my favorite part is at the beginning where Brian Johnson gleefully mumbles "Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle all the day!" like an old blues man.
"Must Be Santa"- Bob Dylan
I initially purchased Bob Dylan's Christmas in the Heart for the sole purpose of annoying others and, truth be told, Dylan vocally butchers most of the songs. However, I found myself legitimately enjoying a couple of tracks; his take on "Here Comes Santa Claus" was rather endearing and this one is actually a lot of fun, note how he replaces the reindeer names with those of presidents Eisenhower through Clinton--- leaving out Ford and Carter for some reason. Plus, it has a creepy video with Bob Dylan wearing a Santa hat (and an assortment of other hats) and a wig (not a Santa wig mind you... just a weird wig).
"Dick in a Box"- The Lonely Island (Featuring Justin Timberlake)
Christmas is the season of giving....
"Little Saint Nick"- The Beach Boys/She & Him.
Because when I think of Christmas, I immediately think of beach music.... She & Him's mellow take on the tune from a couple of years back is pretty good too.
"Christmas Wrapping"- The Waitresses
From an age when rap music was still widely considered to be a novelty rather than an enduring art form the Waitresses, best known for their novelty hit "I Know What Boys Want", released their take on the emerging style in this holiday tune (Wrapping = Rapping... get it?) which remains the only other song of theirs that anyone else knows or cares about.... combining an early (and very white) take on rap music with the dominant New Wave styles of the era makes for a a fun little tune, it doesn't get more eighties than this....
Except for maybe this....
So... this happened.... as far as I know, no official recording was ever released of this and it was part of an MTV Christmas special that featured Pee-Wee Herman. I legitimately thought I had hallucinated this as, for years, I could find it (even on the internets). Enjoy....
"Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth"- David Bowie and Bing Crosby
Speaking of things that happened.... so did this.... As the story goes, Bowie either didn't like the song or felt that "Little Drummer Boy" didn't give him an opportunity to shine vocally. The "Peace On Earth" bit was written on the fly and, despite the odd pairing and the last minute addition, I've always felt it worked beautifully.
"A Christmas Duel" - The Hives and Cyndi Lauper
This track is a lot of fun; it's done in the style of one of the 1960s R & B Christmas tunes--- a la "Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)"--- but the lyrics recount the tale of a dysfunctional couple who probably should not be spending Christmas (or any other day for that matter) anywhere near one another as they ask for forgiveness for their transgressions of the previous year so that they can spend Christmas together because, "Hey, why not?" Favorite line: "Oh, please dear, excuse my behavior, I hired a hitman, I changed your will, now it's all in my favor"
"I Wish It Was Christmas Today"- Julian Casablancas
Originally done in a minimalistic style as a bit on SNL featuring Horatio Sanz on guitar and vocals, Jimmy Fallon on Synthesizer (which he used solely to trigger the simplest of drum machine tracks and, later, random sound effects) and backing vocals, Chris Kattan on... holding the Synthesizer, and, last but surely not least, Tracey Morgan on.... running in place? It was a cute bit that the show resurrected a few times but, a couple of years back, Strokes frontman Julian Casablancas turned it in to a full-blown holiday pop tune. It's actually quite good....
Another song that draws its inspiration from early 60's Motown/R&B Christmas tunes, who doesn't enjoy a little punk rock for Christmas? Heck, who doesn't enjoy a little Ramones any time of year?
The most traditional tune on this post BUT it's performed by Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. My favorite part is the little spiel at the beginning where he asks Clarence if he's been good so Santa will bring him a new saxophone.....
I used to think that I only liked this song ironically but, it's just so damned fun and done with such a spirit of holiday joy and silliness, that it is now legitimately one of my favorite things to hear around the holidays and the video is pretty awesome too... they don't make 'em like that anymore.... all music videos should have a maximum budget of $250 dollars....
"Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home"- Darlene Love
I was originally introduced to this song through U2's cover on the first A Very Special Christmas album. The original, however, is superior in every way. Phil Spector's wall of sound was absolutely perfect for incorporating those holiday flourishes. The result is a majestic pop masterpiece that is almost too good to be confined to just a few weeks out of the year (but, then again, that only adds to its specialness). Truly, this is the finest pop-Christmas tune ever recorded.
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